Do you think love is painful?

Who hasn't experienced the pain of love? Or is it the pain of rejection? The pain of self doubt? The pain of fear? It's important to distinguish between love and totally separate feelings.
When it comes to pain surrounding love, we're more likely referring to the “add-ons” of love. The love baggage, we might call it. For some reason, many people assume negative emotions are a part or element of love. But experientially we know this isn't true.
Love is not painful, it feels incredible. The pain and hurt we feel doesn’t come from love, it comes from our doubts, fears, anxiety, perceived rejections, broken trusts, anger, jealousy, envy, etc. So why do we as a culture lump all those other feelings in with love?
Perhaps its because we feel these uncomfortable emotions most often in association with our love relationships. Our primary relationships are important to us, so we assume these doubts and fears are all part of the loving experience. But is this really true?
When we are fearful, angry, anxious, unhappy, or jealous, are we truly experiencing a state of love? They sure feel different, don't they? Love feels warm, open, joyous and filled with a deep sense of appreciation. Pain steps into a love relationship when you switch it from a "wanted relationship," into a "needed relationship." You don't NEED any one relationship. Want? Yes. Need? No.
If you go into a relationship not feeling terribly good about yourself, you're more likely to become dependent on your partner to help you feel good about yourself. If we felt empty before they appeared in our lives, we fear the emptiness returning if they leave, so their staying with us becomes paramount. That dependency can create all kinds of fear and unhappiness when there's a perceived threat to you staying together.
If we aren’t giving ourselves the acceptance we crave, we look to those around us to provide it for us. Again, none of this has a thing to do with the love you feel, but everything to do with the fear you feel.
If you really want to remove the love baggage of fear and unhappiness, the first step is to improve your self awareness and self acceptance.

People can change if they love someone ?

I have pointed out that you have little chance of dating someone who is tailor-made to your particular personality.
The best you are likely to do is what we called "good suitability." Therefore, there will be many things about you both which the other would very much like to change.
We cannot emphasize too strongly that every person has to act in accordance with the kind of person he is. No promise, however sincere, whether made before, during, or after a marriage, can change the essential pattern of any personality.
This is why wise selection is so vital. The one you marry is the one you get. Of course, people do change with age and experience. The one you marry will not forever remain the game. Neither will you. Such changes will, in part, result from the experiences of marriage.
But such changes will be what they will be, not what you want them to be. They may leave the other less, rather than more satisfactory to you.

Can you influence this process of inevitable change in desired ways?

In trivial matters unrelated to a basic need, you may be able to get some changes with little difficulty. The problem of changing a person is often like that of alterations in a house. A man bought a house which had a tiny bathroom which could easily have been larger had the builder used some of the waste room in the hall.
Before the house was built, such a change would have been simple. After it was built, the change would require a shifting of three partitions and two doorways. Such a change would have cost too much. So it is with the ones we date. If we could bring them up from babyhood, we would properly make some real changes.
But after they are grown, basic changes may prove far more costly than they are worth. Furthermore, a house cannot actively resist alterations, but a husband can; and usually does.
Finally, if you think people can change if they love someone enough, it may indicate that something is wrong with you, rather than with the other party.
Many people have personal deficiencies which they feel unable to overcome, and about which they feel insecure. If they can get others to adopt their peculiarities, they feel less uncomfortable about them.
Those who are too zealous in seeking to convert others to their religion or their point of view are rightly viewed with suspicion. Often what they are really trying to do is to gain support for their own abnormalities as a means of finding greater security for themselves.
Still believe people can change if they love someone?

How To Love Someone?

What’s the first step to loving someone? Start with this. If you’re a man, be a gentleman. If you’re a woman, be a lady. Sounds simple enough for a start? We all begin to learn right from wrong around the age of 2. We begin to learn what being a lady and a gentleman is around the age of 5. Some of us never master the rudiments of this, but we all have an idea, just like we all know right from wrong. We don’t always DO the right thing, but we know which choice is right – deep down – if you’re even moderately intelligent, you know right from wrong. And we know what it takes to be a lady or a gentleman. It just may need a little refining. Don’t be hard on yourself. Just give it a try. I won’t say how – you really know. Think about it. Start with this, and then read on. I won't go into a lot of depth. This is meant to get you thinking. Read on and consider the concepts and message - not just the words. But some of these are going to require some work on your part – and some long term commitment. That’s what love is. Being in love and making it last is work. No one teaches you that. It’s not the fairy tale that ends “…and they lived happily ever after.” If they did live happily ever after, they worked at it. This is work. But it’s the most wonderful, most fulfilling work you’ll ever do.

Why Does Love Hurt So Much?

I'm sure you've heard the expression: Love Hurts. Why does love have to hurt so much?Truly, I wish I had the answer. When we go through a breakup, our eyes get puffy from lack of sleep and crying. Our chest hurts probably not so much from an actual breaking heart but more likely shortness of breath because we are in "fear" mode.Why Does Love Hurt So Much?Yes, when we lose someone we've been with for a while, we are losing love. Or, at least we are in fear that we are losing love. And, fear blocks love. When we go into that mode, it seems that we are creating more of what we don't want: less love.So, if you're hurting - and I can empathize with your pain - try to remember to keep breathing. Allow yourself to feel hurt, allow yourself to feel the loss, but remember than when you create a space in your life you might be allowing more love to come into your life in the not-so-distant future.Not only that, but sometimes we need to release things in order to grow. I think this is where most relationships fall down: expectation and attachment to things hoped for but not entirely real. It is those expectations that drive some people to drugs or alcohol, others to immerse themselves in their work, the kids, food, exercise, or any other number of obsessions to try to deal with unmatched expectation.The only thing I can say to you, if this is what you've been doing, is to consider releasing the expectation. Releasing the expectation is really the only opportunity to create a truly healthy, happy relationship, anyway.I'm not suggesting this so that you necessarily get back together. Just release it anyway and see how life unfolds.And, in the meantime, remember to keep breathing. Remember to do the things you love most. Remember to be loving to your friends and family who love you.I write these words with all the love in my heart, to you, who is hurting.The pain will recede over time. Life will go on, if you let it. Release control, take a deep breath, and let it out. Then do it again. Keep yourself busy with exercise. Clear out any clutter that's been blocking you from being healthy environment or creating unnecessary attachment, too. Once you do, you will feel more alive, more free, and more able to love with the WHOLE you again.

Can you love someone without "falling" for them?

I'm not sure if I love him or not. I don't desperately need him like Bella does Edward, I don't die when he's not there. I never went through the "falling" stage where you can't sleep and eat.But, I would love to open my eyes to see him in the morning and I imagine falling asleep in his arms would be be second to heaven. I could easily spend years with him. Being around him is like flying. It's hard to contain my smile, I could jump off a cliff with him by my side.Because of him, I notice how wonderful the world is. I notice how beautiful and amazing thing are, like music, the stars, the sun, the wind. I didn't ever notice these things before.I adore him and think he's the best thing to ever happen to me. I don't know what he sees in me, but being around him makes me walk tall for once in my life.When he's not there, I doubt myself and fall back into the insecure-old me. I don't die, but I find myself tripping over thought of him. If I'm upset and I picture him, I fall asleep peacefully.Can you love someone without "falling for them? Can you love someone so completely rationally? Can loving that person affect who you really are deep down inside, change your view on things?

What do love means?

One must understand whether "what is love" can be a question which can be answered? Love cannot be a question. For, if it is a question then an answer should be there. If the answer is there, where is it? This question is ancient and an answer should have been found by now! If the answer has been found, the question would have disappeared.
But the question still remains, meaning the answer has not been found. If it has not been found as yet, then what is the certainty that it will be found? Maybe the mind can never find the answer! A single answer, which will please all minds, is not possible for each mind has its own ideas of love. Hence a universal answer is an illusion.
Individual answers are there for love and for this very reason there are arguments about love for each mind will contradict the answer of another mind. This contradiction is normal for each mind lives in a different point in time. Hence "what do love means?" is an illusionary question, which has no answer!

What Is Love?

How do you define love?

Some say it's mysterious, magical, complex, difficult, imaginary, thought-provoking, inspirational, intuitional, joyous, immeasurable, ecstasy, and undefinable. Perhaps.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love is the answer to "all" questions!
It is important to stand in Love, not fall into it.
Love is waking up to find the object of your affection in the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder.
Could it be that Love is a story that can never be fully expressed?
Love is a bond or connection between two people that results in trust, intimacy, and an interdependence that enhances both partners.
Love is the ability and willingness to allow those you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you.

Making Love is the highest level and the most loving way we can physically express or demonstrate our Love for our love partner. Everyone knows that the sexual experience can be the single most loving, most exciting, most powerful, most exhilarating, most renewing, most energizing, most affirming, most intimate, most uniting, most stress-relieving, most recreative physical experience of which humans are capable.

Logic says everything in this world has a cause and an effect. True Love is the only feeling which is its own cause and its own effect. It is something illogical and yet above all logic. I Love her because I Love her, and I Love her so I Love her.

Love is comforting someone in need of Love and having them know that somebody cares.
Love is looking past imperfections in your partner and seeing the beautiful person inside. True love seeks the happiness and well being of your partner. Love expresses itself in the mutual respect you demonstrate to your partner.

Love must be experienced. Its meaning is infinite and can never be totally defined.
The opposite of Love is fear. Think about it.
There is no fear in Love; but perfect love casts out fear.
God is love.
Love is loving someone without expecting anything in return; no judgments, no restrictions; no limitations; no expectations!
True Love is the nature of bliss.
Love is expressed when you are being someone who loves someone for who they are, not who you think they should be.
Love is embracing differences and discovering ways in which to build a common lifestyle, share decision-making, and taking equal responsibility for the results.



If you want Love, you must first Love. Love begets Love. You cannot deliver from an empty wagon. You must first learn to Love yourself before you can give Love.
"If you Loved me, you would. . ." Not! Love is not manipulative. It must never be used to get others to do what you want. When you Love someone you never ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of Love. This form of manipulation contaminates our Love for another.

Love is to like with a great intensity.
True love has a foundation of integrity, respect, faith and trust. Love is the force that brings about unity and harmony.
Although love is at the root of our basic nature, Love for another human being must be cultivated. It takes time for Love to mature.
Is your love free and unconditional, or is it mixed with various needs, conditions and demands from your partner?
Love is embracing differences and discovering ways in which to build a common lifestyle, share decision-making, and take equal responsibility for the results.
The road to self-discovery is paved with Love.
Love has no meaning other than the meaning "we" give it.
Perhaps. . . Love just Is. While in its allness and in its nothingness, all we need to do is simply let it Be.